I recently found a great publication from the National Institute on Aging, titled “So Far Away: 20 Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers”.
Caregiving is a challenge when we live close to our aging parents. But, living away, adds to the complexity and also limits opportunities for our visits.
This great booklet (viewable online) is in simple question/answer format, and includes a helpful resource list at the end. Questions include “What is a geriatric care manager and how do I find one?”, “How do I make the most of visits to my parent’s doctors?”, “What is the difference between an advance directive and a living will?”
I especially liked Question #5, “Are there things I can do that will help me feel less frustrated?” So often when we are long-distance caregivers, we are overwhelmed with tasks during our visits with our parents, and then we feel guilty when we have to leave and return home. I found #5 answer most helpful,
“Consider joining a caregiver support group, either in your own community or online. Meeting other caregivers can relieve your sense of isolation and will give you a chance to exchange stories and ideas. By focusing on what you can do, you may be able to free yourself from some of the worry and focus on being supportive and loving.”
Sounds like simple advice, but I think sometimes we need to be reminded of the simple, basic steps we can take. The whole experience of learning how to care for my aging mother reminds me so much of learning how to raise my children. Yes, I made mistakes along the way, but the thing that mattered was I learned from those mistakes and truly acted in their best interest.
Please check out the complete article by the National Institute on Aging:
http://www.nia.nih.gov/HealthInformation/Publications/LongDistanceCaregiving/
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
My partners and I have used this publication as a hand-out when we do presentations on caregiving in the community. So many people are doing long distance caregiving and looking for answers. Thanks for sharing this resource.
The 20 Questions atricle is excellent. Just one pet peeve of mine is the use of the words “Adult diapers” used the report. Words like that are demeaning and send a negative message to the family and to the loved one. I try to use the term adult briefs or even the trade name of the product. If a family says, “let me change your diaper, it’s dirty.” They need to say, “I’ll help change your brief.” Then launch into another subject as they begin the changing process.
I also stay away from the term “bib”. That term wasn’t in the attachment but it is the same sort of thing. Family says “Let me put the bib on you so you won’t get food on your clothes”. They need to say, “Here’s a napkin to cover your clothes.”
I know they are little things but they send a strong message…. respect.
Adult Caregivers should understand that they are not alone – millions of Americans are Adult Caregivers. If they are feeling physically or emotionally overwhelmed, this is a very normal reaction and there is help available.
Please visit our website at http://www.rightathome.net to download the 2007 Adult Caregiving Show Me Guide for more information, advice, and support.
If you have any questions relating to home care, please visit our Senior Home Care blog at http://www.rightathome.net/seniorhomecare.