Comments on: How to Deal with a Difficult Sibling in Decision-making for an Aging Parent

By: Gail Sellers

Gail Sellers — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:09:00 +0000

Jan Heinen’s comment about caregiving being a heart not head issue hit home. My 83 year old Mother has suffered several major physical, mental and cognitive setbacks over the past ten years. I have been largely responsible for managing her care and living transitions during this time. With each problem my three siblings have become exponentially dysfunctional and as her primary support, I am often the target of their anger. Her care is difficult and complicated, but not nearly as hard as the daily criticism delivered via email and phone calls from two of these siblings. While I want to believe everyone feels as I do about their family, it is not something to be forced and our differing perspectives make joint decision problematic, if not impossible. Sometimes one person just has to step up to the plate, do the best they can, hope for the best and let the rest go.

By: Joseph Collins

Joseph Collins — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 17:51:51 +0000

Thanks for sharing, this can be a difficult conversation to have. In fact we are all human and have different perspectives especially when it comes to our parents.

By: Dale

Dale — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 15:58:05 +0000

Thanks you for sharing your situation and perspective. I really like the way you see it as a “heart issue”.
In the end, if we’ve reached out and tried the best we can, we have to let go and focus our energy on our elderly parent. Your mother is blessed to have the loving care of a few of you.

By: Jan Heinen

Jan Heinen — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 05:05:59 +0000

My 91 year old blind mother with dementia has lived in a facility for one year. Prior to this she required much home care for years. My ten siblings and I have not been able to establish a unified approach to meeting her needs, resulting in most of the responsibility being carried by a few. Finally I had to accept that caregiving is a heart issue, not a head issue, and cannot be forced on someone who is just not interested.

Jan Heinen
Publisher, LiftChairReviews.com

By: Most Tweeted Articles by Seniors Experts

Most Tweeted Articles by Seniors Experts — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 11:43:33 +0000

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uberVU - social comments — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 23:08:07 +0000

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