I received a sad email from a close friend in North Carolina. Her elderly mother is rapidly deteriorating while her father (who was caring for her mother) is now having to set up doctor appointments of his own because they think his cancer has returned. I then happened upon a poignant article, “The New Face of Caregiving: The Male Caregiver”. Did you realize 40% of all caregivers are now male?
This next fact probably won’t surprise you. Males approach caregiving tasks differently. Families of male caregivers would be wise to read this article and understand how they can reach out and help these men.
While males face the same challenges (depression, stress, exhaustion), they approach caregiving quite differently:
* they look at it as a form of work, a series of tasks to be accomplished
* they are used to delegating so they will seek outside help
* they try to keep their caregiving situation out of the workplace
* even though they feel isolated, they tend to not seek support from traditional support groups
The article describes that spousal caregiving is especially difficult. This part struck an emotional chord in me. You always see the older couples helping each other out in doctor’s offices but I had never thought about how their relationship would be affected by chronic and terminal illnesses.
Be sure to read the author’s 7 tips for male caregivers. Excellent advice.
My favorite tip, “Acknowledge your emotions. You’re human, not a robot.”
If you have the time, you can read the entire article at:
http://care.lifeexec.com/index.php/articles/1189-the-new-face-of-caregiving-male-caregivers.pdf
{ 4 trackbacks }
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Dale,
The AARP link doesn’t work — I get a 404 “Page Not Found” message. And I wanted to read it in its entireity.
Thanks for pointing that out. I found another link for the same article. http://care.lifeexec.com/index.php/articles/1189-the-new-face-of-caregiving-male-caregivers.pdf
It’s really a good article.
Thanks for the link… it’s a good article. The part that rings true from my experience is ““Men approach caregiving as a form of work, a series of tasks that needs to be accomplished”. Obviously not all men feel this way but I have noticed this as well. When I talk to a son of an aging parent I feel like they want me to hand them a list of things that they can go do (install a raised toilet seat, buy a walker, etc). All caregivers are unique and it’s good to know how gender can influence this as well.