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While discovering that our aging parent has Alzheimer’s may seem like a devastating loss, one woman shows us the way to view it as a life-changing opportunity.
That woman is Lori La Bey. She is no stranger to Alzheimer’s. Her mother suffered early onset Alzheimer’s, and after 30 years, is in the end stage of the disease. However, all you have to do is spend a few minutes talking with Lori, and you will know that Lori considers herself blessed to have gained a deeper understanding and richer relationship with her dear mother…because of this disease.
I interviewed Lori on my BlogTalkRadio show today. If you can spare the 30 minutes, please listen to our interview. Click here.
Here are the highlights:
- As Lori sought out resources to help her understand the disease of Alzheimer’s, she found resources that offered statistics and talked about the disease from a medical perspective. What Lori found lacking was a holistic approach that would help families understand how to relate to and communicate with their loved ones as the disease progressed. Lori wanted to look beyond the illness.
- Lori began to understand that it is the ’simple pleasures … the special moments’ that would mean so much to her mom and her. In fact, Lori likes to say “grasp the moment, and embrace the moment.”
- Lori advises us “not” to lose our original relationship of daughter and parent. She is a perfect model for what she shares with others. Her efforts are always directed to help her mother feel great joy, whether through music, singing, a gentle massage, or saying “I love you” every time she walks in the room and leaves.
- On Lori’s website, she offers a special (no cost) tool, called “The Memory Card”. She advises completing this small card and then reading it every time before you walk in your parent’s room. It is simple but powerful, and it will frame your perspective so that you remember what is truly important in your relationship, and let any other annoyances go.
- There is another tool, called “The Memory Journal” for visitors and the family. Lori shared that often visitors do not know what to say or do, and may actually stay away because of this. “The Memory Journal” offers a special way for visitors to write down what is most important to them about the person, what they want to remember about the person, and optionally include a photo. This is a wonderful gift for the familly to reflect upon and share with their loved one.
Lori’s loving and fun-loving spirit came shining through in the interview. She said if we ask an ill person what they most want, their answer will often be that they just want to be “normal” again. She encourages us to laugh with our loved one and to always let the love flow.
I encourage you to check out what Lori offers on her sites. Know that she is also a much sought after speaker, consultant and trainer around the country.
- To read Lori’s poignant and often funny stories of her journey with her mother through Alzheimer’s, please visit her ‘Alzheimer’s Speaks’ blog
- To reach her incredible resources, the Memory Chip and the Memory Journal, please visit her ‘Alzheimer’s Speaks’ website
Thank you, Lori, for giving families help and hope!!!!
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Living with alzheimer’s is definitely not easy.it takes a lot of strength to see it everyday. It takes a strong person to give the right care that the alzheimer’s patient needs.
It is definitely not easy, and so often heart-wrenching. In my interview, Lori talked about weeping profusely as she sat by her mother sleeping.
There are definitely very hard times.
If you’re looking for more resources, support and information for dealing with aging parents, you may want to check out http://www.cooperativehomehealthcare.com. There’s a lot of really useful information there.
I think you meant http://www.cooperativehomecare.com/
Thank you for sharing this site with us!