14 years ago when Gina became disabled, their world changed forever…shrinking to one room with an institutional hospital bed.  That bed became a constant reminder of her illness.  She didn’t want family to visit because she didn’t want them to see her like that.  Gary knew he had to somehow change that ugly hospital bed into a beautiful piece of furniture.    He settled on a simple but innovative design of slipping hardwood headboard and footboard right over both ends of the hospital bed.

As Gary shared, it is truly all about dignity in living.  He said that transforming Gina’s bed was the “best medicine” ever.  Her room looked like “home” again.  Her spirits were lifted, and she once again found herself looking forward to visits, and finding her “new” normal.  Gary learned another important lesson along the way.  Filling a family member’s room with the many products on the market was both overwhelming and unnecessary.  He adopted the goal of keeping Gina’s room simple, and functional but stylish.  And that is what drives Gary’s innovations forward.  He has seen first-hand how his products have changed the quality of life for entire families!

Gary’s company, Tender Care Beds, produces the slip-on headboards/footboards in hardwood in 5 standard colors, in various styles and even accepts orders for custom items (such as a cover for a ventilator.)  Other standard products include a foot chest, wall shelf and soon-to-be announced new innovative products!

Gary noted that there is indeed a cultural change underway to make the environment for elderly and disabled as homelike as possible.  ”In June 2009 the CMS (Center for  Services) updated its guidelines for long-term care facilities in several ways.  Out of the many changes made, the new ‘homelike environment guideline’ was one of the most revolutionary.”  So, whether your loved one is living at home or is in a skilled nursing facility, they can absolutely benefit from Gary’s wonderful line of products.

Gary’s goal is simple but so very powerful for loved one and their families, “To improve the quality of life for those whose world has shrunk to a single room.”

I encourage your to check out Gary’s website and product offerings.   And, check out the TenderCare bed community of users on Facebook.  You’ll find some amazing stories of lives transformed by the TenderCare bed.

http://tendercarebeds.com/ http://tendercareathome.com/

For the Facebook Fan page (TenderCare beds), click here.

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While discovering that our aging parent has Alzheimer’s may seem like a devastating loss, one woman shows us the way to view it as a life-changing opportunity.

That woman is Lori La Bey.  She is no stranger to Alzheimer’s.  Her mother suffered early onset Alzheimer’s, and after 30 years, is in the end stage of the disease.  However, all you have to do is spend a few minutes talking with Lori, and you will know that Lori considers herself blessed to have gained a deeper understanding and richer relationship with her dear mother…because of this disease.

I interviewed Lori on my BlogTalkRadio show today.  If you can spare the 30 minutes, please listen to our interview.  Click here.

Here are the highlights:

• As Lori sought out resources to help her understand the disease of Alzheimer’s, she found resources that offered statistics and talked about the disease from a medical perspective.  What Lori found lacking was a holistic approach that would help families understand how to relate to and communicate with their loved ones as the disease progressed.  Lori wanted to look beyond the illness.

• Lori began to understand that it is the ’simple pleasures … the special moments’ that would mean so much to her mom and her.  In fact, Lori likes to say “grasp the moment, and embrace the moment.”

• Lori advises us “not” to lose our original relationship of daughter and parent.  She is a perfect model for what she shares with others.  Her efforts are always directed to help her mother feel great joy, whether through music, singing, a gentle massage, or saying “I love you” every time she walks in the room and leaves.

• On Lori’s website, she offers a special (no cost) tool, called “The Memory Card”.  She advises completing this small card and then reading it every time before you walk in your parent’s room.  It is simple but powerful, and it will frame your perspective so that you remember what is truly important in your relationship, and let any other annoyances go.

• There is another tool, called “The Memory Journal” for visitors and the family. Lori shared that often visitors do not know what to say or do, and may actually stay away because of this.  “The Memory Journal” offers a special way for visitors to write down what is most important to them about the person, what they want to remember about the person, and optionally include a photo.  This is a wonderful gift for the familly to reflect upon and share with their loved one.

Lori’s loving and fun-loving spirit came shining through in the interview.  She said if we ask an ill person what they most want, their answer will often be that they just want to be “normal” again.  She encourages us to laugh with our loved one and to always let the love flow.

I encourage you to check out what Lori offers on her sites.  Know that she is also a much sought after speaker, consultant and trainer around the country.

• To read Lori’s poignant and often funny stories of her journey with her mother through Alzheimer’s, please visit her ‘Alzheimer’s Speaks’ blog
• To reach her incredible resources, the Memory Chip and the Memory Journal, please visit her ‘Alzheimer’s Speaks’ website

Thank you, Lori, for giving families help and hope!!!!

Join me and Lori La Bey, Speaker, Trainer, Consultant, Author, and now an ‘Advocate on Steroids’ for Alzheimer’s disease.

Lori will share her own personal story, the insights she gained and two wonderful tools that help adult children examine their inner journey and strengthen/enrich the relationship with their parent with Alzheimer’s.

Lori is also writing a book on Alzheimer’s disease, “Alzheimer’s Speaks -Guiding Caregivers to be Their Very Best! Giving Voice and Enriching Lives – As the Cookie Crumbles.” Lori’s Resource website & Blog: http://www.AlzheimersSpeaks.com Lori’s Business site: http://www.SeniorLifestyleTrends.com

Don’t miss out on a chance to listen live and call in with your questions.

Listen online at:  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dalec/2010/06/08/memory-chip-memory-journal–tools-for-the-alzheimers-caregiver

Call in at:  (347) 857-1461

Thanks to Alzheimer’s Reading Room for sharing the following poem by Max Wallack whose great-grandmother suffered with Alzheimer’s.  Max went on to found the non-profit, Puzzles to Remember, providing puzzles to care facilities with dementia and Alzheimer’s patients.  (Links are at the end of this post)

Turning true-blue loyal friends into treacherous strangers…..

It gallops in silently on powerful hoofs
Snatching sweet, precious, forgotten memories
Turning true-blue loyal friends into treacherous strangers
Clogging synapses with emptiness
Crumbling trust into excruciating paranoia

With bleak darkness comes the anxious wakefulness of broad daylight
And bitter terror encompasses every living fiber
“If I sleep, where will I be when I wake up?”
The compulsion to run, the paralysis of fear

Mature, child-like dependence
Retracing youthful development, but in rapid reverse
Cureless medicines, meaningless conversations
Leading up to the inevitable

Max Wallack is a student at Boston University Academy. His great grandmother, Gertrude Finkelstein, suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. Max is the founder of PUZZLES TO REMEMBER , a 501(c.)3 charitable organization. PUZZLES TO REMEMBER is a project that provides puzzles to nursing homes and other institutions that care for Alzheimer’s and dementia patients.

Thanks to Alzheimer’s Reading Room for allowing us to share the poem.